Heading Towards the Light

Sometimes life just happens--real life--and some things are completely out of our control in it. Recently a tragedy occurred in the US that just frankly broke my heart. Earlier I was fussing over things going wrong in SL when I found out about this RL event. That's when things got real and yanked me out of whatever asinine drama I thought was important in SL.

I should be resting for a last minute, 6 a.m. rehearsal for the finals. Apparently the stage builder hadn't completed it and made some changes that Mr. Mills did not expect. This means even the final staging will be a total surprise for us. I was originally upset by this until, as I said, things got real. It doesn't matter now.

I want to say that the last four months, despite my frustrations, have definitely been an eye-opener. I discovered more about myself as well as others. I am more confident about the type of person I am and the goals I wish to achieve in 2013. No matter the outcome of this competition, I don't regret doing it because my path is clear now. I know the direction I want to take, and I don't plan to look back.

Recently I watched a vlog of Big Bang fan girls and their trip to their L.A. concert. They traveled all the way from Utah to watch these Korean pop idols perform live. At the end of their 3-day adventure to meet the band they only knew from YouTube merely months ago, they posted a fitting quote that summoned up their feelings: It's better to look back on life and say, "I can't believe I did that," than to look back and say, "I wish I did that."

I don't know if that's an original quote from them, but I would say it speaks to my feelings towards MVW as well. The journey was long and very hard. Nothing came easy but I was touched by the overwhelming support I received from friends and even strangers. I'm so glad I did the I Am Me campaign, which encouraged others to love themselves behind the screen and not worry about some online image that only speaks to a fraction of their personality. When all is said and done, the person on the other side of that screen is the one who must face the greatest challenges in dealing with a real world that can seem both beautiful and mad at the same time.

Hours from now I will appear on that stage in two breathtaking gowns. I will showcase the hard work of Evangeline Miles, Monica Outlander, Vikeejeah Xevion and Yula Finesmith. I will show the audience what months of dedication, perseverance, and commitment looks like. I will hold my head high knowing I represented Canada and models of color to the best of my ability and did it with integrity and class. I thank God for this moment which feels so insignificant in the light of recent events. Although there is sorrow in my heart for those grieving losses today, I will not shed a tear over losing MVW. I have gained more blessings than one could ever hope for and regret nothing.

For those who have followed my journey, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm just a strange person who occasionally ventures into a virtual world to meet kindred souls from across the globe. Thanks to this, I feel less lonely on the planet and take great solace in knowing that people who I've never met face to face have come to accept the very real woman behind this blog. I hope you'll continue follow my journey, wherever it may lead.

The finals begin at 10am SLT today and you can view it online through live streaming at Metaverse TV. As I warned, it will be a very LONG program so keep the drinking to a minimum for fewer bathroom trips. Feel free to comment in the chat box on the sidebar of the video feed, but please don't feed the trolls any drama. They show up every year and every year they just sound lame and ignorant--ignore them. That said, I will NOT be in there myself, so if anyone claims to be ME, they are LYING! You don't have to point it out in chat because anyone silly enough to believe I'd risk crashing just to watch myself in a pageant, clearly does not know me well. I'm not stupid; that sim will be super laggy. I can watch the edited video and look at pics after the winner is crowned.

Thanks again for all the words of encouragement! I'll post about the aftermath once it's over!

Yes, it is me in this poster. Tiny victory \o/